To paraphrase William Blake, the proverbs of a country are as good a guide to its character as its buildings, food, customs, laws, etc. In lieu of describing Texasee's ethnography, I offer a sampling of its mother wit.
Some folks got it and some
folks don't. And some folks buy it, some folks steal it and some
folks have the good sense to stay the hell away from it.
Love usually comes in the
form of a proposition.
Tomorrow is what we are
constantly paying for Today.
Hank Williams came from
Alabama, Bill Monroe came from Kentucky, Johnny Cash came from
Arkansas and Elvis came from Mississippi—but nobody would have
heard of them if it weren't for Tennessee.
A Tennessean knows what it's
like to be outnumbered and surrounded.
A Texan is just a Tennessean
who was too crazy to stay home. A Tennessean is a just Texan who was
too drunk to leave home.
What's the point of dying
unless you get to go to heaven? What's the point of living unless
you raise a little hell?
The only problem with the
Law is that, given a choice, most people would rather live outside
There are no victimless
crimes under the Law because the Law ensures that society will have
Atheists must have the
biggest imaginations in the universe to pretend that God doesn't
Don't ask a drunk where to
buy liquor. He might be following you.
People who drive cars big as
houses must have a reason for not staying home.
If you can't live with
yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?
Only a fool would trust an
The point of life is not “to
have a good time.”
It's to die trying.
If you want to be somebody,
remember that you will have to start out as nobody.
Most of the time the ladder
of success is upside down.
Most people secretly like
the idea of apocalypse—we all know we're gonna die, so might as
well take every one else along for the ride.
Anti-Semitism is an
admission of inferiority. Everyone should believe that they belong
to the chosen people.
Steer clear of people who
are always claiming to “know something”--knowledge in the past
tense—it's more fun to hang around with those who are still
Owning things will make you
sorry in the long run. In the short run you'll need a lot of closet
Camels with two humps,
camels with one hump. Still a camel.
Wit is not wisdom.
Cleverness is not vision.
A wise man once asked a fool
for directions: “Do I go left or right?” The fool thought for a
minute and said, “Left, yes, left.” So the wise man went right.
The greatest injustice in
society is not that the rich have what the poor need, but that the
poor are brainwashed into thinking they need what the rich have.
Anarchy looks better on
A Unitarian minister had a
severe spinal injury. The only thing the doctors could to was fuse
his spine. He had a choice whether to fused sitting or standing. He
chose standing. I always like the fact that he chose standing, but
even more, that he chose. I wonder what a Calvinist minister would
have done in the same situation.
The gravest misfortune: a
total lack of imagination.
Nothing matters but everything.
A person who truly believed in nothing would vanish.
Every thought is an act of faith.
Children are life's great second chance.
The truth may be off pitch but still in harmony.
Dreams are life's lessons in eternity.
Easter Island: they cut down all the trees to make idols of themselves; they destroyed themselves to become "immortal" works of art.
Whatever you buy in this life, you spend the next one getting rid of.
Humpty Dumpty should never have sat on that wall. Why? Because "wall" rhymes with "fall."
Can I be you or you be me except in the wilds of Texasee?
A Lullaby: Little baby, go to sleep and you may wake in Texasee.